You can read everything on the subject, but you’ll always be surprised by your own experience with sobriety. Like most things, your own experience is the only way you’ll truly understand.
It has been one month.
I still feel relieved.
It had gone so far, relief is the most honest word I can muster.
What I’m learning is that, so many aspects of my personality I had bunched together with drinking. I keep getting caught displaying my carelessness and I find myself saying: “But I’m sober now – this can’t be”. Well, Jane Bare, this is a large part of your personality and always has been, don’t you remember? You disguised it for so many years, but it was always under there.
Remember your teacher writing a letter home about your messy desk? All the report cards, with good grades but notes about putting a little more care into your work? The passion was always there, the enthusiasm, but none of it was ever tidy. One of your first employment reviews, applauded so many aspects of your job performance, but asked that you take your time – as you have a tendency to be a bit of a clutz.
I had forgotten I wore this badge.
I’m nervous but I’m excited to learn more about this part of me. Like most things related to sobriety.
A physical issue I’m having, one month in, is all the tension in my jaw. It’s causing me headaches. All I can find online are similar symptoms from people like me, but nothing official from any sort of doctor or sobriety website – with suggestions on how to relieve it. I guess I’ll have to do it the old fashioned way and ask my family doctor.
That’s all for now.
xoxo
Janebare 